Birthday in Vegas
by Crackers and Cheese
Summary: It is their 1,000th birthday, and each of the eleven Doctors will have an experience they'll NEVER forget.
1. Prologue

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 1

"The thing about you," said the Sixth Doctor to the Eighth Doctor "is that you're too forgetful." They were at their 1000th birthday party with eight other Doctors in a pub in east London. "I am not forgetful," said Eight indignantly. "Wait, what were we talking about? Where are we? Who are you?"

Six sighed, patted Eight's brown hair, and walked over to the Seventh Doctor. "That's just-," said Six and sighed again, for once at a loss for words. Seven frowned. "I can't believe I'll become him one day," he said as he ducked a stray cricket ball, the seventh one in an hour. The Tenth Doctor wasn't as lucky, and was hit in the chest.

"It's a hit!" cheered the Fifth Doctor and he waved his cricket bat, which almost hit the Third Doctor. He managed to dodge it at the last minute and he glared at Five. Ten stood up. "I know you're my favorite Doctor and all, but if you want war, then it's ON!" he said as he took out a water pistol.

"Boys, boys, we can all be peaceful now, hmm?" said the First Doctor, sensing a fight. "Shut up, old man," muttered Five, who was busy preparing to whack Ten with his cricket bat. One was outraged. "It's _on_!" he yelled as he hit Five with a crumpet.

Soon enough, cricket bats, water pistols, and buttered crumpets turned into banana pies, carrot cakes, blue sonic screwdrivers and a recorder ("Hey, that's mine!" said the Second Doctor as he retrieved it.).

The other Doctors, except the Ninth Doctor and Eight, got out of the war zone through the back door and filed out onto the sidewalk. "What do we do now?" asked the Eleventh Doctor as a carrot and jelly baby cake flew out of a nearby window and landed by his feet.

The Fourth Doctor, ever the optimist, took out six plates and forks, loaded the plates with cake and handed them out to the Doctors while Three said, "I still have that bank account with UNIT. We could take out some money and go to Las Vegas."

"Vegas!" exclaimed Seven. "We have enough money for that?" Before Three could answer the back door opened and Nine came out. He struggled to close the door as some pies and Five's sonic screwdriver came out.

Nine supported himself against the door after he closed it and gasped, "That was worse than the Time War." The other Doctors had heard of the War, (one Doctor lived through it) and they all raised their eyebrows. It couldn't be that bad, could-

BOOM! A part of the pub exploded. "We were renting that," whispered Eleven in horror. As they watched the fire engines drive down the road Four turned to Nine and asked, "Cake?"

***888***888***

The 2nd, 4th, 6th, 7th, 9th and 11th Doctors waited outside the bank as the 3rd Doctor took out his money from his UNIT account. Six was gobbling down more cake, Four passed around jelly babies, Two and Seven did a recorder/spoon duet (it was horrible), and Eleven arranged his bow ties.

They had sat there for thirty minutes when Six asked, "Why did we leave Eight back there again?" They all shrugged. "Let's just hope he got out before the explosion," said Eleven. "But if he tried to get out with the r-rest of them, he'd forget why he was getting out," retorted Seven, rolling an r.

That left them in an awkward silence until Three burst out of the bank and thundered down the steps a few minutes later. All the movement jostled Nine awake and as rubbed his eyes he said groggily, "That took you look enough." Three frowned. "There were long lines. I knew I shouldn't have switched my account to Lloyd's back in 2010!"

"There doesn't seem to be many people out," pointed out Two. He was right. The parking lots were empty. Three grunted. "Alright, it took a while for the teller to get all my cash out in ones," he said. "Why did you ask for ones?" questioned Two. "So it would be harder for you to spend it all!" Three retorted.

"I do not waste money!" Two protested.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

Two and Three glared at each other.

"So…." asked Nine_, _trying to defuse the situation. "How are we going to Vegas?"

Six laughed. "The TARDIS of course."

"But which one?" asked Eleven.

"Mine!" said Six and Seven. "Mine!" they repeated, now getting at each other's faces, "Mine!"

"Roll a die!" said Eleven franticly. They both instantly cooled down and moved away from each other. "I'll take the even numbers!" said Six. "Why?" asked Seven. "Six is even and Seven is odd," explained Six. "How about if I want to have even numbers?" asked Seven. "You snooze you lose pal," said Six. Before they argued further, Eleven rolled the die. It came out on a 4. Six stood up. "Hah!" he cheered_. _"My TARDIS everyone!"

Everyone followed him around a corner and down an alley to Six's TARDIS. "I thought it used to be cleaner," mused Eleven. Six glared at him. "Watch it baby face," he warned. Nine rolled his eyes. "You too, Big Ears," Six added. Nine cared enough to look insulted. Before he could retort, a voice from outside the alley said, "You were going to leave without us?"

The voice revealed itself to be Ten, with Five, One, and Eight in tow. "You all seemed busy," said Two awkwardly. Everyone nodded in agreement to that statement, even Three. Five frowned. "It's still our birthday," he said. "It's also our birthday, and you were ruining it for us," said Nine. "You can't blame all of us for that. Five was the one who started it," whined Ten. Everyone turned to Five. "S-sorry?" he stuttered, uncomfortable with the situation. The conversation abruptly ended when the TARDIS light flickered once. "The TARDIS is impatient," explained Six. When no one moved he added hastily, "Come on!"

When everyone filed in and Six put in the coordinates One asked Three, "How much money to you exactly have, my boy?" Three thought for a while and said, "Around 690,000 pounds. Yep, definitely over 600,000." Everyone gaped at him. "What?" he asked, not really getting it. Suddenly the TARDIS lurched.

Nine glared at Six. "Get a grip on your TARDIS, man!" Six raised an eyebrow and grinned. "I'm not controlling the TARDIS," he said. Seven popped around the console beside Six and looked sheepish. "Sorry, we agreed that I will control the TARDIS. Just got a bit distracted there with the cash."

He pulled a lever and the TARDIS landed. Five looked at the scanner. Everyone held their breath as they awaited the results. "We're here!" he said. Everyone but Eight cheered, since he was confused again. "Where are we?" asked Eight. Six sighed and knocked heads with him. "Oww… wait, I'm the Doctor!" Eight said proudly.

"Finally, a breakthrough!" muttered Seven. Four came from within the TARDIS with a bucket full of jelly babies yelling, "It's time to PARTY!"

As everyone ran out to the bars and casinos, the Sixth Doctor locked the TARDIS. "It seems like it will be a long night, eh, old girl?" he whispered as he ran off to join the others.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. The Awkward Search Party

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 2 or "The Awkward Search Party"

12:20 A.M.-1:45 A.M.

The clock read four o' clock in the morning when Seven woke up. At first he had a blinding headache as blood rushed to his head but that soon passed. His vision soon cleared and he realized he was tied upside down. He hung from ceiling hence the blood rushing to his head. He quickly untied himself and looked at the clock. He had read it upside down, and the actual time was 12:20 A.M.

According to his body clock he was asleep for an hour and a half. He tasted something in his mouth. The aftertaste of….

"Jelly Babies?" he said out loud. "Actually, jelly babies dipped in vodka," admitted a sheepish voice. Seven turned around to face Six.

Six wore the blue variation of his outfit but his shoes mysteriously were gone. By the way he was standing; Seven could safely assume that he was drunk.

"S-sorry we left you hanging there S-seven," Six slurred. "But Four and I got c-carried away with the c-carrot juice…"

"Wait, you tied me up?" asked Seven. Six looked at him strangely. "Yes, but you asked for it. You said you wanted 'to show the the gods of R-ragnarok who's boss.' Don't you remember?" mimicked Six, complete with rolling an r. Seven thought for second. "No, the last thing I remember was you locking the TARDIS."

Six laughed. "You've forgotten everything in your last incarnation? I can see why, since this was one wicked party. You got tied up, we all got drunk, I lost my underwear, and Four- wait, where is Four?" They both looked around the bar. It was empty with no sign of Four except for an occasional jelly baby on the floor.

"Maybe he went to the casino across the street," suggested Seven. Six sighed. "Maybe he did. Come on!" he said as he opened the door. When they walked onto the street Seven noticed that in the square Eight was dancing around, with only a blanket covering him. It certainly left nothing to the imagination.

Six noticed Seven gaping at Eight and said reassuringly, "Don't worry. He's been doing that all night." How that was supposed to be reassuring, Seven didn't know.

When they went into the casino they instantly saw that Four was here. Jelly babies were on the floor, nailed to the walls, in the fish tank, even in the toilet, as Six realized sometime later. There was no one here except for Two and Three, who were arguing as usual. This time it was about the casino machines.

"We should try the one over there," said Two as he pointed to machine in the back. "This machine is perfectly fine," argued Three. "We haven't hit the jackpot for three hours now!" argued Two back.

"And we won't hit it there either," retorted Three. "Alright, if you won't go I will!" Two started to walk away but then turned around and asked, "You do still have money on you, don't you?" Three sighed. "You wasted your money didn't you? I knew it! You're not having any of mine!"

"Please?" Two begged. "No. The last time I gave you cash you wasted it on a new recorder. It didn't even work!"

"Alright then I'll just get it myself," Two said as he made a grab for Three's wallet. Three moved out of his range and said angrily, "If you touch my cash again I'll-" and what followed were some nasty curses in an alien tongue.

Two stepped back. "Alright, I'll go! You don't have to twist your knickers in a knot about it." Two went to the door and noticed Six and Seven. They had worn faces of amusement throughout the argument but their faces fell when the curses flew out. Two found them openly gaping at Three. Two waved his hands in their faces, yet they still stared at Three. "Hello, little hobo in the room, can you hear me?" he yelled. That got them out of their daze.

"Sorry, have you seen Four lately?" asked Seven as Six sneaked off to the bathroom. "Yeah a while ago, why?" asked Two. "We're looking for him, do you know where he went?" questioned Seven while fiddling with his question mark umbrella.

"He spoke to Three mostly, I don't think we should talk to him in the mood he's in," Two said. Seven put a hand on his shoulder and steered him toward Three. "Don't worry; he won't attack you when I'm here."

"Are you sure about that?" muttered Two. Three had noticed them by then and said to him, "So you're back."

"Do you know where Four is?" asked Seven, taking charge of the conversation. "No. All he did was talk to me briefly and give me this," Three said as he held some underwear. Six was back by this time and he exclaimed, "That's mine!" as he snatched the underwear from Three's hands. Three snickered. "Really, blue?"

"It matches the outfit," Six grumbled. "Now all I need is my shoes." They all looked down and realized they didn't have shoes either. Suddenly Two muttered, "So that's what they were."

"What?" asked Seven, who overheard him. "Come on!" Two exclaimed as he led them all outside and down the street. "Why are we here?" asked Three, who was now irritated.

"Look up," was all Two said. They all looked up. Above them was a clothes line that hung all of their shoes, from the First Doctor's to the Eleventh's.

"It certainly was 'one wicked party'" said Seven.


	3. Not Vegas

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 3 or "Not Vegas"

2:30 A.M.-2:45 A.M.

"Look at what I found!" yelled Seven sometime later. They had already gotten their shoes back and decided to leave the rest there. After they wandered around a little Seven had peeked around a bush and found the start to a trail of jelly babies.

"I think Four is giving us some help," said Three. "Or is very, very drunk," Six muttered. They followed the trail around a corner and down a street. "If you two are Four's successors," Two asked addressing Six and Seven, "Shouldn't you know where Four is?" Six shrugged. "As I said, Four is drunk. Really drunk. I don't even remember coming here as him." Seven sighed. "Me neither." Three groaned. "Really? How much vodka-dipped jelly babies did he have?"

"Vodka-dipped jelly babies?" Two asked excitedly. After Seven nodded he went on all fours and started gobbling up the trail of jelly babies. Seeing Six's and Seven's confused faces Three said, "He hasn't drunk a thing all night." Suddenly a building exploded in the distance and Nine came running from the other side of the street.

"Have you seen Ten or Eleven anywhere?" he asked hurriedly. "No, but we saw an explosion over _there_," Seven said nonchalantly as he pointed to the explosion site. Nine muttered a curse and ran off in that direction.

"Look at this map!" yelled Three, who had gone ahead. They all gathered around the map post. Two read its title. "It seems that we're in-"

"Charleston, West Virginia?" said Six in horror. Seven groaned. "This is _exactly_ like San Francisco. So what's going to happen now, are we going to be shot by Chinese gangsters?" he ranted. "Got that out of your system?" asked Two. Seven sighed and nodded. "Why does everything bad happen in America?" Three whined.

"The trail of jelly babies ends here!" Seven said as he pointed to a bar. Two frowned as he chewed on the last jelly baby of the trail. They all crowded around the window to see a horrifying sight.

***888***888***

(Four's POV)

"I am your king and you _shall_ obey _me_!" Four yelled and laughed crazily. His jelly baby armies, ever growing smaller as he crammed them down his throat, stood stagnant during his speech. "Bow to me, servants!" Some jelly babies fell over; yet most stood still. Four frowned, and then grinned widely. "Oh, right, I haven't taught you how to bow yet! It's like this!"

He drunkenly fell over his armies, crushing them as he yelled, "Jelly babies, feel my wrath!" Somewhere along the way, he began to do gobble up his soldiers, make jelly baby angels, drink _more_ vodka, and yell _very_ inappropriate things about past companions, especially Jamie McCrimmon.

***888***888***

(Seven's POV)

The 2nd, 3rd, 6th and 7th Doctors had watched this scene with faces of horror and amusement (guess which Doctor has which face) for a while until Six stood up and yelled indignantly, "That underwear stealing tosser!"

"What?" shouted Seven, bewildered. "No one steals my underwear and gets away with it!" Six declared as he stormed into the bar. "That must have been the strangest statement I have made in a long time," said Seven to Two and Three as they all entered the bar. They both grinned.

They found Four and Six in the midst of a verbal take down…_on a table_. "You stole my underwear," growled Six he struggled to balance on the edge of the table. "You stole my bucket of jelly babies!" Four retorted, and grinned in spite of himself.

"What?" asked Six, confused. "In your left pocket," said Four. Six dug into his pocket for a while before pulling a bucket which was filled to a quarter with vodka-dipped jelly babies.

"Oh," was all Six said. Four choose that moment to attack, and Six hit him in the head with the bucket. As Four tried to balance himself Six jumped up high and slammed down on the table.

The table unbalanced under him and Four went unconscious in the process. Meanwhile, Six landed safely on his feet. Three patted him on the back. "Well done, old chap!" he said.

Seven checked Four's double pulse and frowned. "We'll have to take him to the TARDIS," he decided. The rest of the Doctors groaned.

"Where is the TARDIS anyway? Is it down the street? Around a corner?_ In Vegas?_" Six panicked. Seven chuckled weakly. "I don't think we strayed _that_ far from the TARDIS," he said uncertainly. Six laughed. "You _really_ don't know what happened tonight," he said cryptically. Seven huffed.

"So, who's going to carry Four?" asked Two suddenly. Everyone looked at Six. "What?" he asked, already dreading the search for the TARDIS.

***888***888***

They had wandered around for a while and found no signs of the TARDIS. Two groaned. "How are we going to find the TARDIS in this maze?"

"I don't know," muttered Seven as he looked behind another bush. "You won't find the TARDIS behind bushes!" grumbled Six as he heaved Four over his shoulder. "Oh, shut up, you're just grumpy because you're carrying Four."

"No, I'm grumpy because you're being stupid!" yelled Six.

"You're stupid!"retorted Seven.

"I found the TARDIS!" yelled Two, trying to defuse the situation. "Where?" they both said simultaneously. "Here!" said Two, pointing to somewhere behind a corner. He led them to the TARDIS and opened the door easily. "I thought I locked the TARDIS," Six muttered uneasily. They all went inside.

The console room was a wreck. Spray paint covered the wall, water leaked from cracks in the ceiling, and there were dents in the roundels in the console room and the adjoining hallway.

"Oh my giddy aunt!" gasped Two.

"My TARDIS!" wailed Six.

"Oh_ s*#^_!" swore Three.

Seven stayed silent for the moment and he was the only one to hear an elephant from deep within the TARDIS.

"Oh s*#^ indeed," he muttered.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Confusion

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 4 or "Confusion"

"Aw, hell," mumbled Nine as he woke up. He groaned as he realized he was under a mattress. All he could see from here was the time, 12:30.

He lifted the mattress and found out that it was in fact the body of One. Nine wondered why he was under One. That's when he saw that his shoes and his coat were gone. "We didn't do anything…" Nine looked at himself and One.

_"Ewww…!"_ he screamed as he scrabbled away from One and towards the door. He saw that outside the bar that Eleven's back was against the wall and he laid sideways on the ground and he was muttering, "No, Amy, no more fish fingers and custard…"

"Uh, hello," said Nine as he waved awkwardly. Eleven raised his hands and gave him a peace sign, sighed and stood up; stumbling as he almost lost his balance. "You alright, mate?" asked Nine.

Eleven nodded and suddenly came to life. "You know what; I think I need another bottle of vodka right now," he yelled as he ran into the bar and slipped into a bar stool. As he poured himself a glass of vodka Nine asked, "How many bottles have you had?"

"About three. Of course, that was with Ten and Five." Nine was about to ask another question but he noticed what Eleven was drinking. "Um, Eleven that's not…"

"Vodka? I know. It's carrot juice. Makes me a bit sober. You what to know where Ten and Five are, right?" Eleven said very rapidly. Nine just blinked and nodded.

"Well I don't know where they are. Best to start looking, yeah?" Eleven continued as he led Nine outside. "Are you sure that you're completely sober?" asked Nine warily.

"Yep," said Eleven as he started to bounce on his heels.

"Not high on anything? Had any coffee?"

"Nope, nopey, nope, no," sang Eleven and he giggled. "Note to self," muttered Nine. "Carrot juice does_ not _make you anywhere_ near_ sober."

Nine was about to continue but saw up ahead the figure of Eight dancing in the courtyard in only a blanket. As they got closer they hear him sing, "I'm a little butterfly, and I spread my colorful wings!Even though I'm small and frail, I can do most anything!"

Eleven sighed and Nine grimaced. "We have to put him out of his misery," said Nine with conviction as he turned to Eleven to shun the sight. "Do we have to?" whined Eleven, unsure.

"Of course! Look at him! How can you not pity that?" Nine protested while waving a hand to Eight, whose blanket had come off completely. Eleven grimaced. "I did not need to see that!" Nine whirled around, yelled "Not see what-oh s#%^!" and promptly covered his eyes with his hands.

"Put an end to this madness!" Eleven yelled and backed away. Nine took a deep breath and said "Hey Eight! Here's a banana!" and lobbed a banana at Eight head and Eight went unconscious. Eleven gaped at the sight. "What the hell is in there?"

"Guess."

"Steel banana?"

Nine picked up the banana and unpeeled it. It had steel interior. "Bananas are good," he grinned. Eleven grinned. "Yep, the same steel banana you threw at the Master in that dream where he told you he was your father."

"What?" Nine asked, looking at Eleven as if he was crazy. Eleven paled. "Whoops, too early. Just act like I didn't anything, alright?" Nine nodded warily. Eleven looked down at Eight and awkwardly covered him with his blanket. "We're leaving him here, right?" he asked as he walked away.

"Yep."

***888***888***

Nine and Eleven walked by the nearest bar and found Ten lying next to door with his arms around several assorted brands of alcohol. "W-where are you g-going?" he slurred. Both Nine and Eleven looked at him and then each other. "We're alcoholics!" muttered Nine, aghast. "And I thought that we were just jelly baby addicts," Eleven said in shame.

Ten looked at them in confusion and said finally, "I like your bow tie," and promptly tore it off Eleven's collar. Nine snickered. "Clip-on bow tie? That's worse than blue underwear!"

"It is not! And you can't expect me to tie my bow tie every morning! I have planets to save!" retorted Eleven. Nine rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, boys, but I have to save Ace from a hoard of Sontarans," Ten said drunkenly as he stood up. Both Doctors took offense.

"Boy? Me? I am the only man out of the whole lot of you!" Nine protested. "Hey where are you taking my bow tie?" asked Eleven as he blocked Ten's way. Ten dodged and made a run for it. Eleven followed him. "Eleven, wait-" Nine began, but they were both long gone.

Nine sighed when he saw the abandoned wine bottles on the floor. "I'm still the man of the lot," he muttered as he drank the contents of one bottle. And another. _And _another. Nine burped as his vision blurred.

Nearby an explosion occurred. Nine grinned. "Is it snowing? I love snow!" He was about to make snowmen when he sobered a little. He sighed and ran towards the explosion.

On the opposite side of street he encountered Seven, Six, Three and Two following a trail of what like…jelly babies? Nine sighed and asked Seven hurriedly, "Have you seen Ten or Eleven anywhere?"

"No but we saw an explosion over there," Seven nonchalantly as he pointed to a destroyed building to Nine's left. Nine muttered a curse as he ran to the site.

If he remembered correctly, that building was the casino where Six and Seven met Two and Three. As he approached the site he saw Five staring at the building. With a lighter. He looked gravely at Nine when he came over.

"Did you know that jelly babies are flammable?" Five whispered. Nine wrenched the lighter from Five's hands. "Everyone knows that. Why did you set the building on fire?" asked Nine.

"I certainly wasn't running from a zoo where I set free a wild elephant," muttered Five awkwardly. "Wait, what explosion?" He stared at the burned down building in horror. "That's just not cricket!" he whined.

Nine sighed. "Just kill me now!" Five took a mallet out of his pocket, held it up over his head, and smiled evilly. "Are you sure about that?"

Nine's eyes widened. "What the hell?" Five stepped forward tauntingly, laughed and threw the mallet on the ground. "Nah, just kidding," he giggled.

"You know you're drunk, right?" Nine said. Five threw his head back and laughed. "So?"

"Am I the only sane person here?" yelled Nine at the sky. It echoed for a few seconds when Five asked, "So, you want some scotch?"

"Yep."

Five smiled and began singing _'Celebration_' as he led Nine to the nearest bar. Nine grimaced. "And I thought the recorder and spoon duet was bad," he muttered.

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading so far. When you review, (please do), please include the Doctor you like the most. I am having writer's block on a new story and this will greatly help. Next chapter is the epilogue. Also, if I get enough review, I might put up an extra chapter- The Epilogue Part Two. Trust me, it's funny.  
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	5. Consequences or The Epilogue Pt 1

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 5 or 'Consequences' or 'The Epilogue Pt. 1'

One hour later they were laughing over couple of glasses of scotch. "And then, and then," hiccuped Five. "They had the nerve to call that a foul! There's no fouls in cricket!"

"That's because you were playing BASEBALL," Nine explained while rolling his eyes. Five sighed. "Stupid Americans," he muttered.

Suddenly they heard the TARDIS materializing. "Is the pizza here?" asked Five as he crossed his eyes and giggled. By this time Six had burst through the door of the bar. "He's out of it," Nine said.

Six ignored him and grabbed Nine's and Five's wrists and dragged them to the TARDIS. "Party is OVER!" Six yelled. Nine and Five groaned. "Why?" Five whined. "'Cause you're the Devil when drunk," said Six.

Five giggled and said, "Aww, thanks!" As they entered the console room they saw elephant footprints on the floor. Six pushed them along and into a nearby room. "Ignore it!" he called as he closed the door.

They were in a lounge. In the corner of the room stood the bar, which was ransacked by the rest of the Doctors, who were now even more drunk.

Eight, having changed into some clothes(Thank Goodness!), has snorkling in a fish tank. Two and Three were arguing about whether a Joker card counted in a game of Goldfish. When One saw Nine and went over and whapped him on the head.

"What was that for?" said Nine as he rubbed his head.

"You left me and that poor boy alone in the cold!" One said, gesturing to Eight.

Nine grimaced. "It was Eleven's idea!" he said. One turned to Eleven and Eleven could see the Oncoming Storm in One's eyes. He paled. " You were HEAVY!" he wailed as he ran around, trying to outrun One and his trusty cane.

Seven turned to Nine and Five with a tray of drinks and asked nonchalantly, "Scotch, beer, vodka, or carrot juice?"

Five reached for the carrot juice but Nine slapped his hand away. "You're too drunk right now. Imagine you on _carrot juice_."

Nine and Seven shuddered while looked confused. "I only had three bottles of vodka and six glasses of scotch," he said.

Nine and Seven just stared at him. Seven blinked and bit his lip. "No wonder..." he muttered.

"What?" asked Five. Seven smiled. "Six is _so_ going to be angry at you when he realizes that you released the elephant into the TARDIS!"

Five paled. "If Six comes storming into this room, tell him I am _not _hiding in the TARDIS bathroom," he said hurriedly as he ran out of the room.

Meanwhile Seven looked smug. "You are going to tell Six everything, aren't you?" said Nine warily. Seven raised an eyebrow. "Of course I am! I on't let the little weasel get away with TARDIS vandalism!"

***888***888***

Two and Three finally stopped arguing, since Three destroyed Two's card tower. They went up to Four, who was lying on the couch eating from a new batch of vodka-filled jelly babies in his bucket.

"Do you think you have a problem?" asked Three warily. Four didn't look up. "What?"

"Do you think you're an addict?" Three tried again. Four was even more confused, and he backed away from Three. "What?"

Two groaned. "Do you think you're addicted to jelly babies?" he said roughly, and more to the point. Four glared at them and held his bucket to his chest. "There is no such thing as too many jelly babies," he murmured.

"There is such thing as eating too many," said Three as he tried to grab Four's bucket. Four scrabbled back across the couch with a frightened look on his face.

"Will you just leave me and my jelly babies alone!" he whimpered. Three and Two backed off and walked away.

"He has problems," Two muttered and Three nodded his head in agreement.

***888***888***

Meanwhile, Six stormed into the room. Before he could speak, Seven said, "In the TARDIS bathroom." Six gave him a thumbs up and ran down the hallway, taking Five's cricket bat with him.

"You seemed really eager at getting Five punished," said Nine. Seven sighed. "It's an elephant. In the TARDIS. _Six's_ TARDIS. As far as I'm concerned, he should have seen this coming."

Behind him, Ten and Eleven were having a Red Bull drinking contest. Eleven had fell on the floor, and was jittering like mad. Ten stood up as the champion and immediately collapsed next to Eleven.

Nine frowned. "The future looks bittersweet." Seven nodded as he chugged down his seventh glass of carrot juice.

***888***888***

Five practically flew into the room while in the hallway they all could hear Six yelled, "-and _that's_ how you use a cricket bat!"

Five cowered in a corner as Six came in and wailed,I didn't mean to do it, I swear!" Six sighed and put the cricket bat down. He said,"You better not do it again, or-" and left the threat hanging. Five paled. "-it wouldn't be cricket," Five finished. Six shrugged. "I'll go with that," he conceded.

***888***888***

Four was still munching on some jelly babies when he saw the radio and the microphone on the floor. He grinned.

***888***888***

The Doctors were discussing the latest sonic screwdriver when Four turned on the radio. The other Doctors gaped in horror as he took the mic and started singing to "I'm Sexy and I Know It" _with_ body motions.

The Doctors watched watched him until Five said, "Hell yeah, we are!" and started dancing.

Soon enough, they all started dancing and even taking turns singing the song. Seven turned to Six. "This has been one crazy party." Six sighed. "I hope we never do this again."

During Eleven's turn at the mic Eleven asked, "So who's coming to our 1,500th birthday party?" Everyone raised their hands, including Six and Seven.

Six sighed and raised his glass of carrot juice and said, "To the next 500 years!" Everyone raised their glasses of assorted drinks. "To the next 500 years!"

"To time and space!" shouted Two.

"To time and space!"

"To us being idiots!" Three put in.

"To us being idiots!"

The End.

(Just Kidding!)

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long break. It might happen again, though, since i haven't wrote the next chapter. Unfortunately, it is last one. So, do you want a sequel? Involving laser tag? Review and I will deliver.**


	6. Farewells or The Epilogue Pt 2

Birthday in Vegas Pt. 6 or 'Farewells' or 'The Epilogue Pt. 2'

On the outskirts of London the TARDIS materializes. The doors banged open and Six shoved the rest of the Doctors out onto the road. "Surely you can forgive us?" Two pleaded.

Six glared at him. "Letting a elephant roam the TARDIS? Yes. Spray painting my toilet? Maybe. Bleaching my coat? _Hell_ no!"

Six gave him the finger as he slammed the door. A few seconds later the TARDIS dematerializes.

The remaining Doctors looked around. They were in the empty field. They could see the smoke rising from the pub One, Five and ten partly destroyed earlier. "At least he dropped us at the right time period," Nine muttered.

Two spotted something up ahead. "My TARDIS!" he yelled excitedly and ran up to the blue box. When he got closer he frowned.

"I don't remember the TARDIS looking like this," Two asked, confused. The rest of the Doctors gathered around him. Three chuckled. "That's because it's a Porta-Potty idiot. Your TARDIS is over there," Three said pointing to a blue box across the field. "Oh," Two said.

"First one in gets to be dropped off first," Four called and all the Doctors raced to the TARDIS. "The TARDIS isn't a taxi service!" Two huffed, since he couldn't keep up.

Five laughed. "But that doesn't mean you aren't a taxi driver!"

Two frowned. "I'm not_ that _small!" he cried as he ran into the TARDIS.

***888***888***

Two rubbed a lot of shoulders getting to the console and had to it on it slightly to control it. "First stop?" he asked, taking the taxi driver role in stride. Nine raised his hand. "Two blocks away from the pub."

When Two opened the door after they landed they hit Ten and Eleven. As Nine walked out he said, "So _not _looking forward to the future."

Ten and Eleven glared at him as they rubbed their noses. "Next?" asked Two. Five raised his hand. "Just take me to a cricket field. The TARDIS will find me eventually."

Two decided to leave Five in an abandoned cricket field somewhere in Brazil. Five took in his surroundings after the TARDIS dematerializes. He shrugged. "It's not what I was expecting," he muttered as he sat down on a tree stump. "But at least I won't have to hear Tegan shouting in my ear for a few days."

***888***888***

Ten was next. "Chiswick," was all he said. As they landed Eleven snickered. "Spying on Donna again?" he teased.

Ten snorted, waving it off. "I still won the Red Bull drinking contest," he called as he walked onto the street.

"That's just because you're naturally high!" Eleven retorted over the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing.

Two sighed. "Where to?" he asked Eleven. "Rio," Eleven announced proudly.

As Two operated the console Eleven whispered into his ear, "Please hurry, I don't want Amy to know I sneaked off and partied with myself without her."

Two stared after Eleven as he walked out. "Seems like the future is a nightmare," he muttered wearily. He suddenly turned to Seven. "You! Where to?" he said, and giggled when he realized he rhymed.

Seven rolled his eyes and suddenly looked serious. "No need..." he and winked. Seconds later he vanished. Two stared at where Seven was for a few seconds until he blinked and muttered, "Showoff."

Two leaned on the console and looked at Three. "You?" he asked. Three smiled. "I TARDIS-pooled with Four. Just take us to the nearest candy shop. It's probably there."

***888***888***

After Three and Four set off Two turned to One. "I'll just leave you at the nearest retirement home, eh?" he teased.

One looked outraged. "You will not, dear boy!" he said and Two backed off. "Can't you take a joke?" Two muttered. One raised one eyebrow. "What did you say?" he growled dangerously.

Two rolled his eyes. "Oh great, now you're deaf!" Before this could go further Eight said, "Can someone drop me off before World War Three starts?" Before Two asked where he was going Eight said, "Gallifrey."

"Why?" asked Two as they dematerialized. "They towed the TARDIS. Did you know the planet Telocasa is a no materializing zone?" Eight rambled as he walked out and he closed the door before Two could say no.

Two sighed and said to One, "Get out." One looked surprised. "What?"

Two fought to not roll his eyes. "You're really are deaf. ."

"But what do I do? Where do I go? I'm on a future Gallifrey, after all." Two became exasperated. "I don't know! Jump into a ditch or something, I don't care."

Two suddenly had an idea. As he shoved One outside he said, "I know! Steal a TARDIS! Preferably a Type 40. Then you could travel the universe!"

As he watched One stumble around he added. "Don't forget to pick up Susan! She'll _love_ the traveling!"

Two closed the door and walked up to the console. he looked at the scanner. "So where did I leave Jamie and Zoe?" As he read the results his happy face turned to one of horror.

"The flippin' Land of Fiction? Oh s-"

The End!

(For real this time!)

**Author's Note: That's it then! Thanks to all the reviewers out there! If it wasn't for you this story would have been one chapter shorter! Now for the sequel, _Birthday In(sanity)_! It won't be typed for a while but that's because I need your help. When you review, (please do) tell me an idea you have of the Doctors doing something really crazy. It doesn't have to about laser tag. If I see a really good idea, I might use it in the story! (By the way, the Master[Ainley] is in it!) So please keep reviewing! Good bye for now, readers!**


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